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I was crucified beside Jesus. A few
of my victims turned out to watch me die. I deserved to die. I made a mess of
my life and hurt a lot of people along the way. Nobody loved me and nobody
would miss me.
The people in the mob were there to
see Jesus. The Pharisees had ignited their hatred. From what I’d heard of Him,
He never hurt anyone. I’d heard that He healed people, inspired them, and given
them hope. He taught people about the kingdom of God and encouraged them to
live good lives. I’d also heard that the trial was a travesty. So what had
Jesus done to deserve the ultimate punishment? He hadn’t shown the proper
respect for the priests and the government.
By the time they actually nail you
to the cross, you’re already exhausted. The soldiers who did the hammering were
real spooks. Driving spikes through a living man’s wrist is barbaric. I could
whack someone over the head and take his money. That was easy. But I don’t
think I could stomach what those soldiers had to do. When the three of us were
all up on our crosses, the guy to the right of Jesus tried to agitate Him. I’m
ashamed to say that I joined in. “Save yourself, and us,” we said, mocking Him.
Jesus looked around at us and at all
the people who were insulting Him. Then He looked up and said, “Father, forgive
them. They don’t know what they’re doing.” He was innocent, dying a death as
slow and as painful as dying could be. He should have been angry, but He was
talking about forgiving. I thought to myself either He was crazy or there
really was something special about Him.
I was about to die the way I had
lived, being hateful to someone who was decent, who had at least tried to do
good things for others. I was completely pathetic. I decided to stop wasting
what little time I had left. “Shut up,” I told the other criminal. “You and I
deserve this, but Jesus hasn’t even committed a real crime. So shut your
mouth.”
Crucifixion is excruciating, of
course. It’s also degrading and humiliating. You’re hanging there, naked, for
hours. People can say anything and there’s nothing you can do to stop them.
They can take a break and come back if they want to. One of the worst things
about being crucified was not being able to scratch an itch. See, after a while
you take the pain for granted. You know there’s not going to be any relief and
you accept that. Then you get a killer itch that will not go away. And you wish
you could reach it because a simple scratch could end that particular torment.
What they did to Jesus was beyond
brutal. The soldiers had truly rearranged His face. He barely looked human. His
lips were puffed out. His entire face was black and blue with bumps and
bruises, except for His nose. It was unbroken and straight. Everybody knows
about the crown, but I was close enough to see the spittle mixed with blood in
His hair and His beard. It was disgusting. The blood from the wounds on His
back glued Him to the lumber. Every time He moved, He opened Himself right back
up.
I asked Him about His life, whether
it had been worth it to live a good life and to try to get other people to live
good lives, only to have them turn on Him like a pack of jackals. He told me
there was no way for me to understand it, but yes, it was worth it. Then, I
don’t know why, but I asked Him about His kingdom. He said there was a place
for me there.
"But how?" I asked.
"I’m an evil man. I’ve killed for pocket change." Jesus said He knew
about all that, and, even so, He would accept me.
Still, it didn’t seem possible.
"I’m going to be dead in a few hours. I haven’t done one good deed my
whole life, and I’ll never be able to do anything good. How could I possibly be
worthy?"
Jesus said, "Friend, you’ve
stumbled onto the key. There’s nothing you can do to earn your way into my
kingdom. But that doesn’t mean there’s no hope. It means that you have to look
outside yourself for the answer. It’s true that you’ve lived an awful life. I
hate to see anyone live the way you’ve lived, hurting other people and hating
yourself. But at least you know that you’re a sinner. You also appear to know
who I am, as unlikely as it must seem here today. If you want to enter into my
kingdom, all you need to do is ask for it and receive."
For the first time in a long time, I
felt love. It was radiating out from Him. The pain in my body eased up. I asked
Him to remember me when he came into His kingdom. He said, "I tell you the
truth. Today, you’ll be with me in paradise."
I believed Him. I was hanging, half-dead,
and I knew that His promise was real.
He died before I did. When He cried
out to His father, it was the loneliest voice I’d ever heard. He seemed
bewildered. I wanted to relieve Him somehow, to comfort Him in some way. What a
strange, wonderful feeling that was for a man like me!
Jesus cried out, "My God, my
God, why have you forsaken me?" It got dark and everything got quiet. He
was gone. A wave of doubt swept over me, but it only lasted a moment. I could
still feel His love, and I knew it was the most powerful force a human being
could encounter. It was real and I knew I would see Him again.
Then came the rumble of an
earthquake. When the shaking was over, the centurion cried out, "Surely,
this man was the Son of God." Most of the spectators were gone. The Lord’s
followers were leaving, their heads hung low. The wave of doubt had swept over
them too, but they hadn’t experienced His love in those last hours the way I
had. I wanted to tell them that the love of Jesus was real, real enough to save
a dog like me.
I passed out. When I came to, a
soldier was breaking my legs. I barely felt it. The other criminal screamed in
agony when his legs were broken. Since Jesus was already dead, the soldier
speared Him in the side instead of breaking his legs.
A murderous rage welled up in me. My
strength came back for a moment, and with it all my pain. If I could have
gotten my hands on that brute, I swear I would have choked the life out of him.
Then a miracle happened. I glimpsed
the humanity and the misery beneath the man’s depravity. I remembered the
Lord’s compassion and I felt His love once more. However, this time it was
flowing out of me. I wept, in grief over what had been done to Jesus and in joy
over what He had done for me. A while later, I met my Lord in paradise. He is
faithful and true.
Jesus accepted the criminal next to
him and his acceptance was not based on anything good the criminal had done or
would ever do. The criminal next to Jesus was crucified because he deserved it.
And yet, when he asked Jesus to remember him, Jesus promised him that they
would meet again in paradise that day. The criminal next to Jesus couldn’t do
anything to earn his way into the kingdom.
So what did the criminal next to
Jesus have going for him? He acknowledged that he was a sinner and that he
deserved to be punished for his sins. Then he recognized Jesus as the way into
the kingdom of God and he asked Jesus to remember him when He came into His
kingdom. There was nothing complicated about it then, and there’s nothing
complicated about it today. If you’d like to be accepted by Jesus the way he
accepted the criminal next to him, pray this prayer:
Jesus, I confess that I am a sinner
and that I’ve done some bad things in my life. I know that I’m not worthy of
your grace and I know that I can never earn my way into your kingdom. I
recognize you as the one true God and as the only way into the kingdom of God.
Please forgive me for my sins the way you forgave the criminal who was
crucified next to you. Thank you. Amen.
Notes from Danny
Many years ago, I was at the home of
a mentor who invited me to pray the prayer of salvation, to turn my will and my
life over to God, so to speak. I saw no pressing need to do that. It seemed
like something I could get around to someday, perhaps. On that cold night in
late December of 1980, I rode my motorcycle to my garage apartment in a rundown
part of Jacksonville.
In the driveway I was confronted by
two men, one of whom had a shotgun and was ready to blow me into eternity. I
wondered if I would ever have an opportunity to pray again. They eventually
came to the conclusion that I wasn’t the guy they were looking for and shot out
the windows of a neighbor’s car. The police showed up a little later.
After things settled down, I went
into my little apartment, got on my knees, and turned my will and my life over
to Jesus. I’ve fallen short many times since then, but He never has. Thank you
Jesus!
This story and two others are available
on Kindle or on Kindle apps. One of the other stories is Pilate's Dilemma and it's
from the perspective of Pontius Pilate. The other is The Epistle of Judas and
it's from the perspective of Judas Iscariot. If you read on Kindle or on a Kindle app, you can get it for free through Easter Sunday. (I always make the
ebook available around Holy Week.)
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