Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Holy Smartphones and Prayer Wireless


People now kill themselves shooting selfies. They don’t do it on purpose. They simply go one step too far as they try to get a perfect shot of themselves on bridges, mountain trails, or wherever. Terrible things can happen when you pay more attention to the device in your hand than you do to where you are and what’s going on around you. (Here’s a stunning Wikipedia list of selfie-related injuries and deaths.)
"Mobile phones make us think we can multitask, but there's now proof that they impair us, even when we're not behind the wheel." Geoffrey Fowler, Wall Street Journal 
The computer power many people now carry in their pockets is astonishing. With smartphones we can get directions to our next destination, order dinner, buy and sell property, meet potential mates, and do all the other things we used to do on desktop and laptop computers.


The apps on smartphones are increasingly meeting our various needs. They help us, inform us, and entertain us. They’re addictive and they demand our attention. Those same apps relentlessly collect data about where we go, who we interact with, how we spend our time, what we think about, and more.


They compile as much information about us as we’re willing to tell, and many people tell them just about everything. Then they push perfectly targeted ads based on the data we have provided. When you think about it like that, smartphones are now more like tiny personalized billboards than telephones.


Introducing Prayer Wireless. Canst thou hear me now? 


This piece first appeared in the January/February 2007 issue of The Wittenburg Door, the world’s pretty much only religious satire magazine.

Frustrated with calls that go dead for no apparent reason? Had it with not being able to get connected? 


Worry no more! Announcing Prayer Wireless, the ultimate in wireless communications. 


With Prayer Wireless, your call never gets dropped. You’ll never have to deal with a voice menu, or leave a message in hopes that someone will get back to you. Your prayer will go through, each and every time, the first time, guaranteed!


Prayer Wireless has been working flawlessly since the beginning of time. There’s no long-term contract, no roaming fees, no installation charges, no equipment to buy, and no monthly service charge. It’s absolutely free. Just pray, whenever, wherever, and however you want. God’s ready. Are you? 


Prayer Wireless. Networking solutions for the past couple of millennia or so.
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I got an email with this in the subject line: “Prevent your heart-attack in 10 seconds.” It was then that I realized I needed a faster connection.


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Further Reading

Circle of Envy

The Lord's Fishing Buddies

Parable of the Aggressive Driver

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