Overcoming fear when it goes from reasonable to irrational

The Gator Whisperer

I once went hiking up a mountain with some friends. As we went higher the trail got thinner. In some places we were one small slip from plunging to the depths of Hell. Then there was a spot where the trail had been washed out. A jump of about three feet was required to go forward.

I was at the front of the group but I was so scared of missing the little jump that I stepped aside and let the others go first. I was in good shape and there was no reason to think I would have any trouble with the jump. However, the more I looked, the more I envisioned myself sliding down the mountain to my demise.

Circle of Envy - A Thanksgiving Tale

Not a bad view near Sisters Creek. 

Once upon a time, a man was fishing from a dock. The weather was beautiful and the man was peaceful and happy. Then he noticed a boater backing his jon-boat down the nearby ramp and into the water. He started thinking, “Oh boy, does that guy have it made! He’s not stuck on a dock, like me, waiting and hoping for the fish to come to him. He’s a free man. He can fish in one spot and if he doesn’t catch anything there, he can pull up his anchor and go somewhere else. I would do anything, just to have a little boat like that.”

The man in the boat was feeling pretty good as he fired up his five and a half horsepower Evinrude and pulled away. He thought to himself, “I am the captain of this ship. I can go anywhere. I can do anything. If I don’t catch a fish in one spot, I can pull anchor and go somewhere else. I am invincible. Yes!”

After a while, a guy in a cool bass boat passed the man in the jon-boat. The bass boat was fully decked out. Swivel seats, a live well, all the gadgets, and ten times the horsepower on the pitiful little jon-boat. The man in the jon-boat thought to himself, “That guy really has it made. If I could ever get my hands on a boat like that, everything would be beautiful. I’d be a happy man.”

A little later, a dude in a great speedboat passed the guy in the bass boat. The guy in the bass boat thought, “Oh baby, that is one sweet boat. He can fish off it, but he can also pull a water skier. And he can go anywhere twice as fast as I can in this old clunker. If only I had a boat like that, I would be so happy.”

Then thespeedboat passed a cabin cruiser. The dude in the speedboat thought to himself, “Now that guy has it made. When he goes out on his boat, he can stay overnight. He doesn’t have to worry about being anywhere by dusk. If he’s still out when it gets dark, he can just throw his anchor over the side and let the water rock him to sleep.”

The boater in the cabin cruiser noticed the ultimate waterfront mansion. He throttled down to take a good look. The house was like something out of a fairy tale. Several boats were tied up at the dock, including an oceangoing yacht, a huge speedboat, an incredible fishing boat, and a heavy duty jon-boat. The boater thought to himself, “That guy has it all. He has a boat for whatever mood he’s in. And he doesn’t have to back down a ramp or drive to a marina. He just walks out the back door, down to the dock, gets in whichever boat suits him, and goes. What I wouldn’t do to have what he has.”

A little while later, the man in the jon-boat putted by the big house. The owner was looking out the window. He had a cell phone in his ear. His lawyer was on one line, his accountant on another line, and an unhappy client on yet a third line. As he watched the jon-boat go by, he reminisced about the good old days when he only had one small boat. “Life was so much simpler," he told himself. "Now things are very complicated. I have an unbelievable house with an unbelievable mortgage payment. I have very expensive toys but no time to play with them. And I have grown kids who are waiting for me to die so they can get their hands on my money. That guy on the jon-boat may not know it, but he really has it made! I would do just about anything to go back to being like him.”

---

This story is from Chicken Nuggets for the Soul and it's based on something from my life. One day, back when I had a small boat, I was at a boat ramp and got into a chat with the owner of a very nice bass boat. It had all the bells and whistles. I have to admit, I was a bit envious. I think the guy might have sensed it. 

"Want to know where I got my best fish of the day today?" he asked me.

Of course I wanted to know.

"Right under that dock," he told me. 

True story!

Positive Positioning - Right Place, Right Time.

It's nice to be in the right place at the right time.
The day I got this pic was one of those times in my life.

By the time I turned twenty I was making a living and renting a place of my own. After finishing my first two years of college, I didn’t have the resources or the time to continue. There were bills to be paid. I started a small business moving and repairing waterbeds. The  money was OK, but the work was tough on my back.

After a few years, I began taking classes part-time at the University of North Florida. Fellow students joked that U.N.F. stood for, "You never finish," and it did seem like it would take forever. One day I got a call from a customer in a gated community who needed my services. It was Adam Herbert, the new President at U.N.F.

While I worked, I told him I was working towards a degree one class at a time. He encouraged me to stick with it. As I was wrapping up, he told me to let him know if there was anything he could do to help me in my educational pursuits.

I had already thought through what I would ask for if the opportunity arose. I said, “Mr. Herbert, if you have any scholarship money laying around, I could use some.”

He asked me what my GPA was. I had about a 3.5. He told me who to talk to in Financial Aid. Within a month I had enough scholarship money to go full-time. It only took a few semesters to finish.

At least three important elements came into play for getting that scholarship.

• I had a respectable GPA which qualified me for the kind of scholarship Mr. Herbert could nudge forward.
• I did a good job for my customer. Otherwise he certainly wouldn’t have offered to be helpful.
• I was in a positive frame of mind, ready to ask for something when the opportunity to do so arose.

Occasionally, when you ask for something, you might actually receive it. However, the groundwork has to be in place and you have to be ready. Faithfulness in small things can put you into position to ask and receive.

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What are some of the small things in life that people can do to position themselves for positive opportunities? What has worked in your life? If you have a tip or a suggestion, leave it in the comments.

More on Positive Thinking

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The Lord of the Pipes - Sweet Stench of Success!

My kitchen sink drain recently got clogged, barely draining at all. Oh, the humanity! I poured a gallon of drain cleaner down before going to bed one night. It was the traditional approach. I hoped that my problem would be solved overnight. My sweet dreams included the pleasant sound of a mountain stream. When I checked the sink the next morning, there was no flow.

I thought of disconnecting some of the plumbing under the sink, jamming a plumber’s snake down the pipe, and turning it till I drilled a hole through the clog. However, I knew there was no chance of pulling that off without making a mess. The next option would be to call a plumber friend of mine. Having a friend who’s a master plumber is great, but paying eighty dollars per hour is still a little hard to swallow.

Then, I thought of going after the clog from the other end. Approaching the clog from the outside pipe leading back to the drain seemed unorthodox to me, but it also seemed like it could work. I knew there was a large pipe sticking out of the ground that all the other pipes drained into. However, I did not know that it was there for doing exactly what I was thinking of. It’s the Pipe of Power. When I removed the cover, it wasn’t hard to see which adjoining pipe led back to the kitchen. It was drip, drip, dripping.

My first attempt to get the plumbing snake through the clog didn’t work. I tried one more time the next day. When I broke through that clog and heard water gushing toward the septic tank, it was music to my ears. I was overjoyed. Ah, the sweet stench of success!

Sometimes the solution to a problem can be found by looking at it from another angle.

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Have you ever found the solution to a problem by looking at it a different way? Leave a comment.

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Kids in a Candy Store - The Power of Positive Memories

Research at Cornell, San Francisco State University, and elsewhere indicates that investing in experiences produces more satisfaction in the long run than purchasing things. For example, if you climb to the top of Everest or you hike a significant portion of the Appalachian Trail, you will have the satisfaction of that accomplishment for the rest of your life. If you buy an expensive car, you’ll enjoy it for a number of years but the feeling of satisfaction from owning it may fade relatively quickly.

Fun vacations with our three children have been a big priority for me and my wife. We have been to New England, California, Texas, and many places in the Southeast U.S. The emphasis was always on fun and togetherness. We did things on a shoestring but we still had lots of great times as a family.

My posse hitting the trail near Acton, CA.

Of all the vacation memories, one that stands out for my children happened in Maine while visiting one of my aunts. She has a relatively comfortable life. She took us to a candy store – the type that has walls lined with bins full of all kinds of candy. Then she told the children they could get whatever they wanted. and she didn’t set a limit. My kids were confused. They looked at me and asked, “Can we do that?” I shrugged and told them to go ahead. They were like kids in a candy store.

We had a similar experience during a stay in the Florida Keys. We saw lots of sights, snorkeled, and generally had a great time. Breakfast at a clubhouse was included with our rental. My kids’ favorite part of that vacation was going to the clubhouse in the mornings without me and my wife and eating whatever cereal they chose. They were at an age where that was very empowering.

Although my kids don’t remember what kind of candy they got in Maine or which cereal they chose in The Keys, they remember the experiences very well.

If you got something out of this, share it with your friends. The sharing buttons are below. 

Can you think of ways to accumulate positive memories that will give you pleasure for a long time? Leave a comment.

More articles aboout positive thinking.

What my dog taught me about optimism. 

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Habitual Optimism - What my dog taught me about positive thinking.

Sparky likes to run!

Whenever I get ready to let my dog, Sparky, out to the backyard, she is ready to move the moment the door opens. She's always optimistic and seems to be thinking, “There could be something out there that’s going to be fun to chase. Maybe a cat! Maybe a squirrel! Something could be out there!” She never seems concerned that the big dog next door might have gotten over the fence again and could be out there waiting for her.

When that door opens, she is gone, almost instantly, to the back fence to take a look. Most of the time there isn’t anything back there. Still, she knows that every time the door opens, there just might be. And, when she comes back in the house, she always checks the front door, just in case someone might have left it open so she could go for an exhilarating run off the leash. She’s a whippet/Jack Russell mix, and would never pass up a chance to run at full throttle.

Is some fantastic opportunity going to present itself to me every time I go out my front door? Probably not. However, if I go through the day thinking something great might be just around the corner, which is the way Sparky thinks, I’m going to be ready when opportunities do arise.

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Who has inspired you with a positive attitude? How can you develop a similar outlook on life? Leave a comment.

Related reading on positive thinking. 

Switching from negative to positive thinking. 

Positive Assumptions. 

From Murphy’s Law to Positive Thinking - Murphy’s New Revelation.

I don't always wear rose-colored
glasses, but when I do,
I prefer Dos Lenses.

Murphy's New Revelation: Murphy’s Law must eventually apply to itself. When Murphy’s Law goes wrong, whatever can go well does go well.

When I worked in comedy in the 90s, my primary schtick revolved around Murphy’s Law.

“Everybody’s heard of Murphy’s Law, right? Whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Well I’m Murphy… The optimist sees the glass as half-full. The pessimist sees the glass as half-empty. Murphy breaks the glass…A rolling stone gathers no moss. Then it rolls over Murphy…Into each life a little softball sized hail must fall.”

The comedy business didn’t work out for me. Surprise, surprise.  Since then, I’ve seen some light. I’ve come to understand that Murphy’s Law must eventually apply to itself. When Murphy’s Law goes wrong, whatever can go well does go well. I call this Murphy’s New Revelation.

Thinking positively is natural for some people. Not everybody is wired that way though. For some, positive thinking is a challenge. I’m like that. Some bad things happened to me when I was young. I had three concussions when I was twelve. When I was twenty, I nearly got killed in a brawl with a guy who punched like an Olympian. I've taken lots of shots to the head. In any case, if a friend told me to be positive, it was irrelevant because I did not know how. There’s no switch on the back of my neck for that.

I’ve discovered that there are simple things people can do to reprogram their minds. This blog is going to be about how to think more positively and how that can help things to go well. There will be a good dose of humor and inspiration. I’m optimistic that readers will share their insights as well. I’m feeling very good about this!

Staying positive isn't always easy. What do you do to shift from a negative outlook to a positive one? Leave a comment. 

If you liked this post, share it with your friends. The sharing buttons are below.

Habitual Optimism.

Switching from negative thinking to positive. 

Shaking down the highway with positive assumptions. 

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